Losing My Mojo

I've lost my edge. I've lost my focus. I've lost my desire. I've lost my gumption. I've lost my passion. In short, I've lost my mojo. And, I don't know where it went. (And, no, I don't think Dr. Evil is holding on to it.)

You see, I haven't felt energized to go out for a run for awhile now. I'm kind of just going through the motions at the moment. I'm bored running at the lake. I'm bored running by the river. I'm looking for new places to run but nothing is jumping out saying, 'run over here!'

Oh, I'm not too worried about it. I'm pretty sure it's a temporary thing. I think a lot has to do with the weather. You see, up until two years ago, I didn't really run in the winter. I would quit in November and not take it up again until mid-February to prepare myself for the Bucks County spring series. And, then I would participate in the spring series and my times would be crap and I'd kick myself for not continue to train in the off-season.

But, this year, the weather has been particularly cold. I haven't been too anxious to test my mettle. We've had little snow, but, what we did have, stayed around and made things icy.

And, I don't seem to have the competitive drive as years past. As I stated in an earlier blog, this year is about celebrating life and not breaking records. I want to stop and smell the Ben-Gay.

Besides, I'm sure a lot of people go through this but February is a particular bad month for me. I've learned this through the years that, in February, I keep my head down and try to plow on through without making any big life decisions. For example, after I graduated from college, I lived in a studio apartment in a town called Lynn, MA, right outside of Boston. I was working in radio but only making $10,000 a year and was struggling. I was offered a job in Philadelphia for three times that but not in the field that I studied for. Well, that winter in New England was a bad one. Snow storm after snow storm was hitting the area. I couldn't take it anymore, so in February of that year, I decided to quit radio and move back to Philadelphia and take the money. One of the worse mistakes I ever made and it took years to recover from it.

I also said, in an earlier blog, that I didn't have any resolutions this year. I think that's kind of hurts me. I'm goal-driven. And, right now, I don't have any short-term goals. Just things I would like to do later in the year.

So, how do I shake off the funk? Well, the snow melting this past weekend sure did help. I can see my lawn again (and the mud the dogs track in.) And, days are getting a bit longer. And, pitchers and catchers report to camp this weekend. Sure signs of spring. And, it won't be long before we get to daylight savings time again.

I think the best way to get back my mojo back is to run that first race. And, struggle. And, have Eric and Chief beat me. Soundly. And, despite what I say about enjoying life and not worrying about times that will be my wake up call. I also think shaking things up a bit this year is called for. Not sure what that means yet. But, it's February. Can't make that decision now, can I?

(Notes: Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers for my father. We received good news and he is cancer-free! He is doing a bit better every day. Again, I am very grateful for your kindness.)