Focusing on the Balloon (Phila Marathon report)

No, it's not a German soldier surrendering at the Battle of the Bulge it's me between mile 25-26. (thanks Kevin Madden)

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

--Nine Inch Nails

Since I was a kid, I would always be nervous about the anticipation of an event. Not just nervous. I mean, pain in the stomach, puking my guts out type of nervous. After Steve and I got our race pack on Saturday at Temple University, we decided to drive around the marathon course. It was pretty easy to follow as it looked like someone drove their car in wet blue paint and followed the course leaving blue tire marks along the way.

As we made our way around the course, it occured to me that we are going to be running from the Delaware River over to the Manayunk section of the city. I mean, that's far. That's really far. The last half of the race was down Kelly Drive to Manayunk and then back again. Many times I've run this section as part of the Philadelphia Distance Run. And, now, Saturday night, I that's all I was thinking as I tried to sleep that night.

I've run marathons before but this time I knew the course well. I got up at 3:45a after just cat napping all night. I had my blueberry pancakes. Steve had his fajita chicken. We left the house around 4:45a and got down to Center City about an hour later.

The forecast was for snow showers and rain for most of the morning. I went back and forth trying to figure out what would be most comfortable to wear. Steve suggested wearing long pants as it was a bit windy and definitely cold. I went with a short sleeve shirt and my Tyvek jacket. No, I changed my mind. I'll go with the long sleeve shirt. And, my hat. Can't forget my hat as I don't want to be too miserable if it rains.

In previous marathons, one of my biggest problems, at the start of the race, is the number of visits to the port-a-john at the start of the race. I stopped drinking fluids on the way down. When we got to the Art Museum area, Steve and I got in line for the bathroom, went, and got back in line again. I felt like I wouldn't have this problem again for the race.

We said our good-byes and good lucks as we went our separate ways looking for our pace groups. I ran with Mike, who was the leader of the 5:00 pace group. Nice guy. Very vocal. Great cheerleader. Mike would run with a stick in his hand with balloons tied to them, with the words '5:00 pace group' written on them. My strategy was to just follow the balloons. I was not going to try to outrun the balloons. I was just going to focus on the balloons.

In line, Kelly, from my Wednesday night running group, found me and started the race with me. I was grateful to talk with someone at the beginning and thought, this is just another Sunday long run. The gun went off. We were heading out.

Kelly and I talked for the first 5 minutes of the race. But, I was doing Galloway, so after the 5 minutes, it was time for me to walk. So, I wished Kelly good luck and started to walk. And, the balloons kept on getting further away. I was getting nervous. But, I had to stick with my strategy. I was just going to have to catch up with the balloons after my walk break.

On a steady pace, I did catch up. And, everytime I stopped and walked, I would see the balloons again go off into the distance. After awhile, I finally got the confidence that I could run the race this way and stuck with my strategy.

I drank from the first water stop. And, yes, I had to stop afterwards to get 'rid' of it. So, I hurried and did what I had to do and caught up with the balloons again. The second water stop, the same thing. But, this was going up South Street. And, there was no place to go. I started to cramp up really bad to the point where I almost stopped running. This was only three miles into the race but I had to go. I dashed into a local restaurant where the patrons were having their breakfast watching the race. I asked where the bathrooms were. I was told upstairs. So, I headed up and felt relief right away.

Back on the course, I knew I was far behind the balloons but I couldn't sprint to find them. I had 23 miles to go. I would catch up. (I also told myself not to drink at the next water stops until I got thirsty.)

Finally, I did catch up with my pace group and I was starting to get into a rhythm. At this point, it was about 7 miles into the race as the course lead through Drexel University, University of Pennsylvania, past Philadelphia Zoo, Memorial Hall and through the Belmont Plateau of the Fairmont Park. At about mile 10, I started getting a massive headache. Now what? Was I dehydrating now? I took off my hat for awhile and notice it went away. It was cold so put my hat back on. And, started getting the headache again. So, for the rest of the race, I literally held my hat in my hand.

The first part of the race had half-marathoners and marathoners running together. We headed to the Art Museum for the half-marathoners to finish. As we enter Eakins Oval, there were signs leading to the halfers finish and for the marathoners to continue. It was a bit cruel to watch people to finish when I knew I was only halfway done. I was still with Mike and the 5 hour crowd. I crossed the halfway point at 2:25. I was going to break 5:00 hours.

For the next 7 miles down Kelly Drive, I kept up the pace. Since this part was an out and back, I had a chance to cheer Steve on as we was shooting for a sub-4:00 marathon. I went into Manayunk and declined the offer of a beer from the crowd (though tempted). I got to mile 20, ran the turnaround and that's when it started to fall apart.

First, it was mental. I knew what was ahead. And, I DIDN'T want to run back. I hit mile 21 at almost exactly 4 hours. Five miles in an hour. I can still do it! But, my walkbreaks were getting longer. And, the pace group was getting further in the distance. This time, I wasn't catching up to them.

The physical breakdown started at mile 23. My hips were hurting through most of the second half of the race. My groin area started to cramp up along with the side of my knees. At this point, walking was more painful than running. So, I shuffled along. I saw Kevin and Ed on their bikes and they started cheering me on. My legs, back, hips were in so much pain. But, I was so close.

There is something about crowds at the end of a race that is inspirational. You don't know them, they don't know you but they cheer you on anyway. And, something inside of you, doesn't want to disappoint them. I ran, shuffled, drug myself the last mile. Going into Eakins Oval, once again, I saw the finish line. When I cross it, I can stop. I crossed it with a time of 5:04:28. Yes, disappointed that I didn't break 5 hours but on a cold, windy day, I managed to set a PR.

In writing this, I have no regrets on how I trained. I do question sometimes whether it makes sense for me to enter marathons. Steve and I agreed, with many other races, you can get a way with doing some things wrong, and still have a good race. The marathon will not allow that. But, I know my limitations with this race. I don't shoot for 4:30 and be bitterly disappointed that I'm not even close. Five hours is reasonable for me. I'm almost there. I need to find what minor adjustments I need to make in order to shave off that 4:29 from my PR. And, that's the beauty of it right there. It gives me yet another goal in life that I want to achieve.