Slowly but Surely

I ran 6 miles yesterday. I ran 4 miles Tuesday. This is a big fat deal for me.

All this year, I have said, 'I'm coming back. Yup. Any day now. I'll be right on the road.' Only not to do so. I have been fine. But there has been some family health issues that I have been dealing with that have zapped my time and energy in dealing with. It has taken an emotional toll on me and running (or exercising) were not tops of my priority list. But, I've said this before and I apologize for doing so again.

But....

Like others I have used food as a substitute for exercise. I looked at life and said, it's too short to not enjoy and I enjoy all kinds of fattening food so why not? Why the f*** not? '

I am now 10 pounds over my normal running weight. I always prided myself for being roughly the same weight as I was when I got married 21 1/2 years ago. Not right now. And, in truth, in some odd way, I had to gain that weight to snap me out of my exercise funk.

What I found, when I have been getting back into running, was the difficulty getting over the mental aspect of it. I would only go a few miles, look ahead over the next 500 yards or so and decide that it's just too hard and start walking. I could not bear down and plow through. Until last Tuesday...

Last Tuesday, I went out on a run on Kelly Drive in Philadelphia. I ran two miles out, turned around, and headed back to my car. For the past few weeks, I would look down Kelly Drive towards Center City and it looked like a looooooooooong way to go, convincing myself I didn't have the stamina. Tuesday, when I did the turnaround, I looked right instead of left and focused on the Philadelphia skyline. Joe, I said, you are going to do this. There is no reason you need to stop. I didn't think of the pain. I started to think of anything and everything else and wanted to enjoy the day.

After the run was over, I felt good. Real good. I felt I had broken a barrier that was keeping me back. And, it was my own doing.

So, slowly but surely, I am coming back to myself I have come to know over the past few years. My biking (did I tell you I got a new bike? White Lightning I call it) has picked up and am challenging myself more. Swimming has been spotty but still getting out when I can. And, I am eyeing either the Moyer & Sons 5k in Souderton, PA on July 5 or Phil's Tavern 5k in Blue Bell, PA on July 14 as my first race of the year.

My problems have not gone away. I'm still dealing with them. But, I'm starting to run again because of the reasons I started in the first place. To help deal with the stress and to make myself feel good again.